Dealing With Your Timid Child

My 5-year-old is a wonderful boy with a tremendous heart. He’s gentle, kind, and has a tender heart for others. However, he’s not what one would call a “risk taker”—i.e. doesn’t want to ride a bike, follows the soccer herd, is not a “climber”.   No matter how I try to encourage and coach him, he still seems timid and afraid of having fun. What else can I do?

First I want to say what a great dad you are for recognizing and articulating the things that make your child so uniquely special. Keep encouraging him with those thoughts and words! There is a recognized link between affirmation and confidence. It may be that your son never will be a risk taker, but I understand and applaud your desire for him to have a variety of experiences.

The best thing you can do is to spend time doing fun and active things with him, without putting pressure on him. Make him laugh by making yourself look goofy while climbing play equipment, swimming, or riding a bike. Don’t put pressure on him, but make it look fun enough and non-threatening enough and sooner or later he will want to try. Set him up for success. For organized sports, I’d recommend Upward sports. These are non-competitive and I love their philosophy that “Every child is a winner.” Soon you might want to try enrolling him in some martial arts classes. Individual sports will probably work better for him than team sports where he feels pressure to perform. You are doing a great job at loving him just the way God made him. Keep it up!