Questions About Suicide

Recently in our community a loved and respected pastor tragically took his own life.  This sad event has been widely discussed, and many parents have asked, “How can I help my child understand something I don’t even understand myself?”

This is a hard one!  Let’s remember that it is all right for parents to sometimes say, “I just don’t know the answer.  I can’t fully understand this either.”  That would definitely be a true answer for most of us in cases such as this.  However, it is also good to give children a Biblical framework for helping them process this or similar situations.  Here are some points that are definitely true.  I have borrowed some thoughts from a message delivered first by John Piper in 1988, and I’ve tried to put his points in kid-friendly terms.

1) Even people who know Jesus and are in God’s family can sometimes feel so sad they would rather stop living than keep on hurting inside.  The Bible gives several examples (Jonah in Jonah 4:8; Elijah in 1 Kings 19:4)

2) Taking your own life is a wrong choice.  It is a sin.  God says clearly, “Do not murder.”  God gives life and God decides when a person’s life ends.  (Exodus 20:13) When a person chooses to end his own life, that wrong choice makes God and many others sad.

3) Everyone sins.  This good pastor made a wrong choice, but we all make wrong choices.  God made a way for our sins to be forgiven when Jesus took our punishment on the cross.  (Isaiah 53:4-6) All people who believe in Jesus and accept His way to forgiveness are forgiven their sins, even suicide.

4) Sometimes even people who trust in Jesus forget to use their trust in Him.  When they try to take care of things in their own way, it leads to sin. (Romans 7:15) The consequences or the results of sin always lead to pain.  When a person decides to end their life, everyone who loves them has to live with the consequences of that sin because there is so much hurt and sadness afterward.

5) We can learn from the death of this pastor—or the death of anyone important to us—that God is still God.  He is still faithful, no matter what.  Any person who has accepted Christ will be with Him in heaven after they die.  (Acts 10:43; Luke 23:42-43)

Very sad times are often the times when our faith grows the most.  I pray many parents and children will find that this tragedy helps them see more truth about who God is.