Computer Concerns

Recently we attended a party at a friend’s home for both adults and children. While my husband and I were in another room our children were playing down the hall in their kids room. I was not aware that my daughter (age 7) had gone with two other children into the study and got on the computer. The computer was on and the children went online and proceeded to google the meaning of certain potty words. My daughter did not tell me this and I only found out about it several days later after another mother told me what had happened. Our children are never allowed on the computer unsupervised and my daughter knows this. We did talk to her about this after we found out it happened. She was very upset and said she forgot about our rule and was sorry.

How do we teach our children how to handle situations when they are with their peers regarding internet, TV, movies and video games? Secondly, can you recommend a good internet filter site that we can install on our home computer?

What good parents you are!  You are right to be concerned about this and to work to protect your children from inappropriate material.  Ultimately, you want your daughter to be able to make her own wise choices about what she watches on TV or sees on the computer.  But she’s just not there yet.  Your rule about not using the computer unsupervised is a good one.  Make a plan with your daughter for what she can do if she finds herself in this uncomfortable situation again.  For example, she could just walk away—or she could call you.  Help her come up with a plan that she could comfortably follow without making a big scene.  Whenever possible, it will help if you mention to the parents of friends she may be visiting that your family would like for adults to supervise what children view on the internet, TV, or movies.  As your children grow, have relaxed conversations with them about the values that help determine what may not be appropriate to see.  Developing this internal set of values will help your children come to the place of making right decisions themselves.

There are several good internet security programs available.  You might explore Safe Eyes or Bsecure (formerly Be Safe Online).