The Trials of Having a Two-Year-Old

How do I deal with a 2 1/2 year old boy who does not want to listen and is constantly on the move?  He is getting into everything and he does not listen when I tell him to stop.  When he doesn’t get his way, he gets mad and throws whatever toy or object he is playing with. When I try to take him to a group activity such as story time or music classes, he will not sit with the group and participate.  Instead, he runs around the room and tries to open the doors to make an escape. I’m at my wit’s end and don’t even want to take him to activities anymore.  I don’t want to yell at him and I really want to try to discipline him in a calm, quiet way, it just doesn’t seem to be working because we both end up getting frustrated.

Almost all 2 ½ year old boys fit that description…they don’t want to listen and they are constantly on the move!  It is the job of two-year-olds to explore and test all sorts of boundaries.  That makes it very hard to get them to do what you want, but it is the job of a parent to make sure that the important boundaries remain intact.  Isn’t it exhausting?  One thing your child needs is the feeling that he has some control in his life.  When possible, give him some choices in his activities.  Give him some acceptable options of what to play with at home or what snacks to have, and then let him make his own choices (from things you would already have chosen).  This sense of control will lessen the frustration he is expressing.  It is also important that he knows what to expect.  A routine in the day will help with this, as will giving him plenty of notice when a transition is about to happen.  “We are going to the grocery store soon.   In five minutes I will help you pick up your toys, and then we will put on your shoes together.”  Talk to him about what to expect in story time or music class.  If he does not participate, hold him with you in the back of the room.  If that doesn’t work, just leave.  He may really not be ready for these activities yet.  Schedule play dates with one or two other children so he can get used to being around them, even if there is only “parallel play” and not much interaction.  Take small steps toward getting him ready for group activities.  Before you set standards for his behavior, be certain that he really is capable of doing what you expect.  Bravo to you for working at consistent, calm discipline.  No one gets it right all the time.  But keep trying!