Should my child know about 9/11?

Miss Pat,
Should my child know about 9/11? If so, what should I say?
Concerned Parent

Dear Concerned,
At some point all children will be exposed to the reality of that very frightening day. With the tenth anniversary, there is widespread media attention on 9/11. Because the attacks are part of our country’s history, children will also hear about them in school. The tragedy is difficult for adults to understand and naturally will be beyond the grasp of young children. Here are some things to keep in mind.

•    Take your cues from your child. Is your child asking you about this? If so, answer the questions that are asked. Give factual, concrete answers. For example, if your child asks what happened on 9/11, tell the facts. “People who did not like America and wanted to hurt us flew planes into buildings. Many people died that day.”  Then you may want to ask if they have any more questions or ask how they feel about that. That may be all the answer they need. If so, let that be enough for now. Don’t answer questions that aren’t asked.
•    Be careful in sharing your feelings. Memories of that day still make me so sad! Does that happen with you? Your child does not share our memories. Depending on his temperament, he may or may not share your sadness. Please don’t make him feel as if he should.
•    Don’t focus on hatred. Older children especially may respond to the idea that “bad guys” did this. If you hear them speaking negatively about Arabs or Muslim people, help them understand that 9/11 happened because of some people, not an entire population.
•    Help your children feel safe.  This is one of their basic needs.  Explain to them that many steps have been taken to keep Americans safer. If you have a family safety plan, talk them through it as much as is appropriate. Children feel safer in scary times if they have an idea what they can expect. They will have more security if they know you have a plan to take care of them.
•    Limit their exposure. Graphic pictures of the horrors and emotion of 9/11 may be too much for children to see. If you need to, turn off the TV. Do not allow frightening images to enter their minds if you can prevent it. Once those images are in, there is no way to get them out.
•    Stress that no matter what happens, God is still in control. When good things happen, He is in control. When bad things happen, He is in control even though it may not see like it. Help them explore Bible promises that tell us not to be afraid. (1 Peter 5:7; Isaiah 41:10; Psalm 27:1; Proverbs 18:1; Psalm 23:4)
•    Finally, take comfort yourself in God’s promises. Nothing will help your child’s faith grow as much as seeing faith lived out in your own life.