The loss of a family pet

Hi Pat! I need your advice about talking to Cooper (age 3 1/2) regarding our dog, who has just been diagnosed w/lymph-sarcoma (cancer). Prognosis is 2-6 months, and symptoms will be noticeable before long. Cooper is very inquisitive; “why?” is his favorite word.   He is also very attached to our dog, a Great Dane that is bigger than him! The only conversations we have had about death were either regarding Easter or his Paw Paw (great-grandfather who he met once and sees pictures of, but doesn’t remember well)–both of which result in great rejoicing! We strongly anticipate he will have lots of questions, specifically whether or not “Cash” will go to Heaven to be w/Jesus (and Paw Paw). While it would be so much easier at this age to just way “yes”, we don’t want to mislead him. We are hoping to satisfy him with saying something about God loving all that He’s created and He will take care of Cash as He sees best. Just wanted to be careful when fielding his questions to not get too in-depth for him, developmentally. If you have any suggestions/guidance for such a discussion, we would gladly welcome your wisdom!

Your question is a good one. I am so sorry about Cash. Our family lost a much-loved dog earlier this year, and we all grieved the loss. The death of a pet is a significant event in the life of a family. Cooper will have questions about this, and the experience will help shape his views on death, heaven, and God. Those are big issues!

It seems to me that your instincts are exactly right. It is important that you tell Cooper only what you know for sure is true. You know for sure that it will be better when Cash does not have to hurt any more. You know for sure that God was good to give your family the gift of such a good dog friend. You know for sure that God has good plans for everything and every person He created.

If Cooper asks questions that you don’t know the answer to, like whether Cash is in heaven, the answer is just, “I don’t know. The Bible doesn’t tell us what happens when animals die.” The faith of children is partially developed by learning to accept that there are things we just can’t know but God is still good.